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07/10/2008 Europe/London +0100 BST |
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 Name: Janey Godley Country: United kingdom City: Glasgow/London Photo Album
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I am 46 and staying out to 5am to go partying is not a good idea as far as I am concerned. I hung out with friends and ended up catching a cab at dawn, the view of Manhattan and the sun rise was just worth the late night. I had four hours sleep then got up and went off to Coney Island with John my manager and we were meeting up with Andrew J Lederer, he is a New York comic and lovely all round guy. Coney Island is awesomely tacky and wonderfully cheap looking with ancient rides and amazing architecture. The beach is clean and the sun was hot as hell. I thought I was going to DIE; I actually sat in the shade and went grumpy. I looked at my legs and noticed I have been bitten to bits by nasty insects in NY…bastards! I have lumpy bumpy shins now. I got really hungry, yet the only thing on sale in Coney Island is deep fried hot lard, I was so annoyed that I ended up shouting at John. Then Andrew showed up and we walked along to Brighton Beach where we went into a great Russian restaurant and had fine food…and it was air conditioned. I don’t know what I was expecting in Coney Island? Salad? The place only does hot dogs! I need to stop assuming people will change their environment to suit me. Meanwhile the sun battered down and shade was thin on the ground, I ended up on the beach under a huge umbrella and finally made a mad dash and jumped into the ocean, which was so cooling and cold I wanted to become a fish to escape the constantly scorching sun. I am a moany cow, I finally get the most beautiful beach, the best weather and all I do is whinge and bitch. The upside is Andrew J Lederer the US comic did give us a wonderful guided tour of the beach area, pointing out interesting buildings and giving us a really informed history of the area. If you want you can check his blog and really good page on http://www.myspace.com/andrewjlederer
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  It is stifling here and I cannot believe that all the clothes I have packed are useless and I am walking around Manhattan in my sloppy pyjamas, as these are the coolest clothes I own. I feel like a homeless person. Mind you down in the Bowery where I performed my play and comedy, there was a tall slinky black man dressed as a woman but sporting a full beard, so I am normal in comparison. The accent barrier is not an issue, but I always seem to go into shops and get served by some poor person with a speech impediment. I asked for REGULAR tea and the young woman with the cross eyes repeated this back to me as ‘BEBULAR’ tea and I stood there and laughed and that means I am going straight to hell. It took ages for us to agree on the ‘regular’ tea issue and by the time I got it outside I was falling about laughing, now I know I am bad…but I couldn’t stop laughing as I thought it was ME who was saying it wrong. So the play ‘The Point of Yes’ went spectacularly well in spite of me assuming the accent would ruin the dialogue. I was so pleased with the show and my comedy show Good Godley! Was just a joy to do in the Bleecker Street Theatre. There were small audiences but there was one woman from Glasgow there and she made the show even better. How awesome was that? I sat in Central Park and watched the Off Broadway Soft Ball teams compete and it was just wonderful, the heat is searing but my pyjamas kept me cool. I think I may wear my pyjamas forever, very liberating, but I might start shaving my chin in case I turn into the bearded lady.
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The weather is awesome, John Fleming (my manager and all round helper) is with me and I am doing my one woman play ‘The Point of Yes’ tonight at a theatre off Broadway.
I have been in New York before, but fuck how I forgot about the sheer noise level of traffic and every time I go to call my father in Glasgow a big police car goes screeching past with its siren on, so I cant actually call my dad till this stops as it would worry him. So I don’t think I will be chatting to daddy for a while.
The apartment I am in is quite small but great location, there is no kettle to make a pot of tea, and so I trotted off and bought one of those small tin tea pots that you fill with water and boil. It leaked and flooded water everywhere, so I am taking that right back to the shops.
I love
I went out last night with a gay mate of mine to a bar, for some unknown reason I drank beer…I DON’T drink…I am not an alcoholic or someone who has drink problems; I just don’t take booze very much. Anyway after two drinks I was hammered. I have been in
My comedy show Good Godley! Is being performed tomorrow night so I need to get organised and stop staring out the fire escape at the ‘squirrels versus cats’ war that goes on daily at the Chinese woman’s balcony across on It truly is the best show in
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Ashley and I have been in London since Friday. We went to the Groucho club Gang Show on Saturday. The show is basically all the talented musicians and performers who are members of the private club; they get together and put on a huge five hour show.
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Recent reports are saying that oral sex may lead to higher risk of throat cancer; my husband says the word ‘May’ in that sentence is important. I am worried sick and I might get his throat checked. He doesn’t seem too bothered and so life goes on. I have been slow with my blog again as I have been getting ready for London and New York, also my addiction to the Gilmore Girls has been very consuming. The last season finished last night in the US and that’s the end of the entire series. I have seen every episode of every season and have been recently scanning all the websites that illegally show TV series uploaded and shared with people on the web. I had three people in America who uploaded the show onto my favourite website and let me watch it as soon as the site accepted it. I was so excited. I am now into 24 season 6. The finale was this week and my friends on the web have assured me it is up, the problem with 24 is, the people who represent the network that show it on television in America, have a team of computer legal geeks who scan all the TV web host sites and demand they get pulled down, so it’s a race against time to catch it….a bit like an episode of 24 as we the viewers try to outwit the corporations that prevent us from watching free of charge. My life is dull…I know. I am off to the BAFTA TV awards in London on Sunday, so hopefully I will make it down the red carpet without falling over in my high heels. It’s always a worry. Thanks to all who have helped me get accommodation in New York next week and thanks to Virgin Atlantic who may possibly see it in their hearts to upgrade me on my flight out of Heathrow on Tuesday morning…please?
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My nephew Shaun who is ten years old fell and banged his head. Poor wee soul had a brain bleed and was rushed to hospital. I was so worried about him and went I went up for a visit; he was in no pain and was in a private ward getting all the attention from the nurses. Thanks nice nurses in Glasgow, he fine and well and home again. Meanwhile I flew off to Belfast for my one woman show. The rain battered the cobbled Irish streets and yet people queued in the lashing rain and the show sold out. Belfast was awesome and it looked and felt a bit like Glasgow, I was fascinated with the place and have vowed to go back and spend more than one night and actually get to see the place. By the way I found a great apartment in New York thanks to Ivan my mate in London who knew and woman who rents out her place…I am so excited all I need now is an UPGRADE on the VIRGIN flight from London to New York…any people out there good at that task? Please? I will kiss your toes! Ashley and I fly to London this weekend; I am taking part in the Groucho gang show and then am off to the BAFTA TV awards on the Sunday. Ashley and I always have such a great time and I can’t wait to spend time with her. Thanks for all who helped me try to get a flat in NY…I love ya…and if you live there come and see me my one woman play The Point of Yes at the Green Room on Bleecker St on the 23rd of May and my one woman award winning comedy show Good Godley! On the 24th of May Virgin flight upgrade? Anyone?
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I sat there on the sofa and chatted to husband, it was one of my long funny anecdotes, it’s a really funny story and you had to be there to laugh at it. I looked at husband when I was in full flow and he was completely ignoring me and watching telly.
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As you all know I love my wee baby great Niece Abigail, she is only 3 years old, but funny as hell. I got her on video last night chatting about how her mouse died. Now it has been a source of mystery how wee ‘Squeaky’ died.
Abi carried this wee grey mouse around for days and loved it then it just died.
Well as soon as I put the camera up to Abi’s face she confessed the whole ‘Mouse’ story and believe me its worth watching especially when she gets to the bit where she stops herself and realises that ‘Shaking the mouse’ was a bad idea….hilarious go watch it now on Here
On another note I am STILL desperate for cheap decent central accommodation in Manhattan from May 22nd till June 1st as I am performing my play and comedy over in the US…please help?
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This blog gets over half a MILLION hits a week and I am sending out into the big wide world web a quick plea. I am coming to New York on 22nd May till 1st June; I am performing my play The Point of Yes at the Green Room on Bleecker Street on 23rd May. I need a decent cheapish hotel for 10 days, I will also be writing my Scotsman Newspaper column (it’s actually a whole page that I get) from New York So WI/FI is very important. I can’t wait to go to New York and I will also be doing comedy and will keep you all updated on this as soon as possible. So let me know if you can help! Meanwhile Glasgow has given up its global warming campaign and the weather has gone mental and started to rain. I was awoken by the heavy slashing rain that battered off my bedroom window. This wasn’t what actually woke me up, what grabbed me from my slumber was the men who work in the bathroom store beneath my flat. Their back door where they come out for their 11am smoke is directly beneath my bedroom window, and my window is directly above where my pillow snuggles my head. “So then I was fucking this woman and I said to her ‘Ask me who the daddy is man’ and she just fucking lay there squealing” (Glasgow men say the word ‘man’ at every given opportunity, like ‘it was great man, you should have seen the car man’ except in this situation surly when you are talking about fucking a woman, the word MAN should not come into it. Who am I to teach the scummy poor how to talk?) I heard these words being bellowed from the nasty wee skinny acrylic-wearing sales assistant in between gasps of dragging on his cheap fag. I leaned out of the window looked down and there he was, acting out his fake sex life in full swing. “Hey MAN” I shouted “Why don’t you save your breath for you blow up doll and shut the fuck up as I try to sleep or actually have real SEX as you stand down there shouting out shite” The wee skinny man looked up in shock. “I am sorry missus” he then flicked away his ciggie and ran inside the shops back door. So that’s how I woke up today. I can’t wait to wake up in New York.
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Sorry I have been missing in action, I have been gigging in the hot sun of the UK.
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